Patti Mayonnaise Might Have Been A Lesbian

Alright, with the recent revival of 90’s Nicktoons I’ve got to admit that I’ve been watching a lot of cartoons and “Clarissa Explains It All.”  My friend and I were watching an episode of Doug where the kids are in home economics and have to cook.  That’s when it dawned on us, we really think Patti Mayonnaise might have been a lesbian.

Let’s look at the facts:

  • She REALLY likes sports – Seriously, she spent half of the episode in a basketball jersey.
  • Sometimes she spoke in a deep voice to be funny, but we deducted that it might have been her actual voice that she hides with her Southern accent.
  • She never showed any interest in Doug other than friendship, and let’s be honest…Doug was a TOTAL babe.
  • She never seemed to do well in “girly” situations.  Exhibit A: Cooking
To be honest, I might have liked her character better if she was a lesbian.  She always made me SO mad that she didn’t hook up with Doug because he was so nice!…Now I understand why, she was just battin’ for the other team.

One thought on “Patti Mayonnaise Might Have Been A Lesbian

  1. Hello, you used to write magnificent, but the last few posts have been kinda boring… I miss your super writings. Past few posts are just a bit out of track! come on!

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