James & His Boca Tanning Experience

Have ya’ll in gay Fort Lauderdale ever been to Boca Tanning Club at Five Points?  It is quite the experience. My friend James recently visited the Boca Tanning Club in his neck of the woods and in his own words:

It was like I was in some warped dream. It was like those new Disney experience rides. The bed was star trek deep space 9 And you pressed the button and A hurrah starts punching in coordinates I  hear beeps and hear all the systems engaging. And I was trippin cause those beeps were authentic y’all I mean a trekkie was definitely consulted on the  whole experience setup. So A hurrah started tapping in the sequences for full thrusters and maximum warp- it was spot on what you’d hear on the bridge…with the chorus of beeps and chasing lights and the ramping sound that happens right before they tear through the fabric of space heading out past the neutral zone towards Vulcan space.  And I’m like…no way…are we going to warp? (Goosebumps, laying naked in a glowing pod…twitching with delight)   Then she says (in her pleasant communications officer like voice). Welcome to Boca Tanning. We only have one kind of bed…THE BEST” and then this more beeps lots of chasing lights and more fans start… I’m smelling strange fruits and aromatherapy with pleasant puffs of cool mist hitting me every few seconds AND THEN… the thunderous music kicks in… and we go from passing Romulus to the Serengeti with the lion king or something. It’s pounding tribal drums, pan flutes flying all around my head, and the haunting growls and grunts of aborigine chanting and stomping around a fire…with the occasional Xena warrior princess battle cry in the faded distance. All of  it pulsing and pumping from the 7.1 lucasfilm surround sound.

Kind of sounds like he’s describing a wet dream…anyways check out the video…

2 thoughts on “James & His Boca Tanning Experience

    1. Hakuna Matata my sweet Sally Fish… we’ll go for the Boca experience and get you all bronzed up, like the Amazonian woman with an ample bosom, who guarded me (as did her pet, Mufasa) while I embarked on the Boca Tanning mindtrip.

      ~James

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